Random Thoughts...

I got this as a forward yesterday and was DYING laughing...read on for some serious laughs!

Random Thoughts of the Day:


1) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you're wrong.

2) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

3) There is a great need for sarcasm font.

4) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

6) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

7) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

8) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

9) Bad decisions make good stories

10) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at
work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.

11) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks
me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.

12) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?
Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

13) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

14) As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,
but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

15) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not
to answer when they call.

16) I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.



Bonus Funnies:

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, government,
healthcare, real estate prices, the stock market, the federal deficit,
Iraq, Afghanistan, global warming, my savings, Social Security, credit
card debt........I called the Suicide Hotline. ... I got a call center
in Pakistan ......told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and
asked if I could drive a truck